Melinda, Nova Scotia is on my most see list. A group of my Bowden ancestors, settled there around 1834 after leaving Virginia. I was in touch with some of the descendants, but have not heard from them in years. Thank you for your insightful post. Anita >From: Melinda Skinner <[log in to unmask]> >Reply-To: Discussion of research and writing about Virginia history > <[log in to unmask]> >To: [log in to unmask] >Subject: Re: Loving the slaves >Date: Sun, 17 Jun 2007 19:44:53 +0000 > >Loretta, >You are right. It is intriguing to read all the messages on this subject >and fascinatingly revealing. >The problem is, there were too many cruel, even sadistic, slave holders; >and they-- when the horrible facts become known-- are held up as the evil >people they were. Many who owned slaves worked as hard as those they >"owned" and treated them well. Also, for some of those first-generation >Africans who were brought to America >the situation they found themselves in as slaves to a reasonable (and >sometimes kind) master may have been an improvement over what they had been >through since their initial capture and resulting transport. It is all so >relative to individuals, and we cannot assume every European was satanic or >that every African slave was mistreated. That being said, there is no >question that slavery in any form by any people is wrong, cruel and-- even >taking the "times" into consideration-- many slave holders knew that in >their hearts. They were too desperate for labor and/or too cowardly to >buck the established social set-up. It is as wrong for people to say that >slavery was not so bad as it is to say that every slave was badly treated. >There is evidence for both sides of the story; and, if you only take one >side, that is not honest history. >My 2 cents, as I travel to Nova Scotia (and found a handy wi-fi). >-- >Melinda C. P. Skinner >Richmond, VA > > > -------------- Original message ---------------------- >From: Loretta Kelldorf <[log in to unmask]> > > List Readers: > > > > I find it very interesting that people today are having difficulty >believing > > that it was possible for some slave owners to love their slaves as >fellow human > > beings! They weren't pets. The love I have read about was nothing like >loving > > one's pet. The capacity to love is very different in every individual. >Some > > people have a much greater capacity for loving than do others. When >you read > > about mean slave owners mistreating their slaves, you have no context >for that > > slave-owner's relationship to other people...black or white. You might >consider > > that. The man that is mean is likely to be mean to everyone. He/she >may > > practice it a little differently depending on how they view the >intelligence and > > reprisal capacity of the other person; but, they will spread their >meanness > > around to everyone in one way or another. Kind people spread their >kindness > > the same way. > > > > Life was hard; it was rugged in earlier times. Many people hardened >their > > feelings and sensitivities in order to make life bearable because they > > anticipated many losses and hurts in a lifetime. Whatever level of > > insensitivity they cultivated, it touched all of their relationships, >not just > > the relationships with their slaves. > > > > I have in my file the will of a lady in Sumner Co. TN who stated in the >will > > that she was old; her sons were grown and already gifted with land when >they > > married. Therefore she was willing that her total considerable assets, >both > > real and personal, be sold and the money used to relocate all her black >family > > to Illinois or Ohio where they could be free. The money was to be used >to buy > > them land and farm animals to furnish them a home and a means of >livelihood. > > > > When I visited (within the past six years) the family home of this >lady, which > > was built in 1808, and talked to the present owner, he told me of >several > > carloads of black people who arrived one day the summer before my visit. > He > > said they told him they had come to visit and pay respects to the estate >of the > > lady who had been responsible for re-locating their families to free >states and > > gifting them with land and a means of establishing and maintaining >themselves. > > Respect, love and appreciation was part of the heritage of these black >people > > who continued to think of the white family as their kinsmen. > > > > Kinsmen. While many of you are reading wills of demeaning >relationships, I > > have found numerous wills where the deceased has called his slaves his >"black > > family". That is evidence of a kind relationship to one's fellow man. > > > > There is another story in TN, of a soldier kin to the lady who left her >estate > > to re-locate the black families, that went to fight in the Civil War as >a > > Confederate. Every day that he was gone, his black "Mammy" sat on the >front > > porch watching for him to return. She kept the vigil every day until he >finally > > did return. She died soon after he came home. This is genuine love of >one > > human for another human, not as pets, but as equal and worthy human >beings. > > > > There is in the Bedford County TN Heritage History book published within >the > > last five years a story of a black man who followed his white slave >owner into > > war. The soldier was a Confederate. When he was wounded his black >servant cared > > for him until he could travel and took him home to recuperate. The >black > > servant then went to fight in the Civil War for the Union! Fought with >the Union > > Army for two years. When the war was over, the black soldier then had a > > pension. The white family for whom he had been a slave was left >landless and > > penniless by the war. The BLACK MAN TOOK THE WHITE FAMILY IN AND CARED >FOR THEM > > AND PROVIDED FOR THEM. Love is in the heart; not in the law. >Sensitivity is a > > form of love. > > > > In my own family, my great grandmother's brother and his wife in TN >had in > > their probate files lists of the expenses encountered during their >illness. We > > are talking now about 1880. When I read the lists of expenses hoping to >get a > > clue to their last illness I was impressed by how many entries there >were for > > items for "the black family". While no specific names were given, how >much > > better name can you have than to be called FAMILY? There were no other >names in > > the list, white or black. The mention of the black family was to >differentiate > > the expenses from their own personal expenses for whatever reason they >may have > > needed to do that. I was touched that they gave equal concern and equal > > provision to their black family. > > > > To be sure, the world is full of meanness. But it is also full of >kindness. > > Where do you intend to put your focus? If you want to change the way >the world > > thinks, then inspect your own thinking. So many of you are full of anger >over > > things past; you cannot do anything today to change what was. Your >inspection > > of meanness and speculation about how people may have felt a hundred or >two > > hundred years ago is neither productive nor constructive. It is a >given that > > Slavery is wrong in any time and in any place. No thinking and feeling >person > > argues the rightness of slavery in this enlightened time in which we >live today. > > What people thought then is gone. You need to deal with today. Focus >on > > positive education, positive instruction, positive goals. That is what >changes > > things in positive ways. Of course black people have struggled. Many > > minorities of all colors have struggled. Pioneers struggled. Struggle >is a > > part of existence. History is important and getting history correct is > > important. But, be careful where you place your emphasis. Who is to >say you > > have the right call on what is exactly right in history or the exactly >right way > > to record it? You are a filter the same as any other person. Check >your > > filters. Concern yourselves with those things about which you can do >something > > constructive. Intellectual conversation can be constructive but it >shouldn't > > beat the same dead horse to death again and again. What are you trying >to prove? > > Some discussions can be concluded. > > > > Frankly, I am very tired of reading about your soapbox on slavery. It is >not the > > only wrong thing that took place in history! Thinking of the >affection of one > > white human being for a black human being as being comparable to the >way we > > feel about our pets is the last offense for me. You are trying to > > intellectualize emotions in the most cruelly unemotional way. Where is >your > > personal sensitivity? Let the real psychologist ponder the emotions of >affection > > between people. Are there no other subjects to intellectually inspect >and > > enlarge upon than slavery? > > > > Loretta Kelldorf > > NOT a Historian but a fair genealogist > > Education : Speech and Hearing Pathology > > Psychology > > Special Education w/ emotionally disturbed, mentally >retarded, > > language-learning > > disabled. > > Lifetime pet owner of many wonderful companions. _________________________________________________________________ Make every IM count. Download Messenger and join the i’m Initiative now. It’s free. http://im.live.com/messenger/im/home/?source=TAGHM_June07